Korean Legends


Kimchi

Once upon a time there were two rival goddesses who were related. The elder sister’s name was Rachel Ko and the younger sister’s name was Irene Choi. Now don’t ask me why they have different last names, even though they are sisters, because I don’t know either!

Once while Rachel was making cabbage, Irene snuck into the very sacred kitchen which Gordon Ramsey used himself and took some of the cabbage. In Rachel’s fury she hit Irene in the face with a pot. Irene’s blood poured onto the cabbage and it transformed into the food we all know as kimchi.

 

Ramen

Once the mighty Goldilocks was in a feud with the very beautiful Shrek. Goldilocks was jealous of Shrek’s more luscious, curvy, golden locks of hair (I will not tell you where the hair is, though). Goldilocks’ hair was not even close to equaling Shrek’s in beauty.

One night Goldilocks offered to pay the three bears with porridge to break into Shrek’s house and cut his hair with nail clippers. The three bears agreed to the terms and went to break into his house. They left at 7:00 P.M. because Baby Bear’s curfew was 9:54 P.M. Shrek was already asleep. You could hear his snoring from a shocking 1.27164826473673264892745655849047490384 miles away.

They snuck in with ease. (By that I mean they broke the door because Papa Bear tripped and fell into it.) They snuck into Shrek’s room and were about to cut his beautiful hair, but they didn’t want to make a mess like Goldilocks did. So Papa Bear, who brought his porridge with him, ate all of it and put all the cut hair in the bowl.

When Shrek woke up to find his hair was all gone he began to cry and somehow a few tears landed in the bowl of hair. The tears became a broth and the hair started to transform into noodles. So the next time you eat ramen think of the loss of his hair that Shrek had.

Mandu

In Korea many years ago lived a young little boy in his rundown apartment. His name was Little Wang. He had no parents because his parents got food poisoning from some bad sangyupsal (basically Korean bacon) and DIED!

From that day forward he vowed not to eat Korean food again. So he tried to learn to make different cuisines like Japanese (he failed miserably), Indian (too spicy), and American (it was okay, but he gained 20 pounds a week). His last and desperate try was Mexican food. He was talking to his Mexican friend at the grocery store.

Little Wang asked, ”Do you know of any good Mexican food?”

His Mexican friend said, ”There is this marvelous thing called a burrito.”

According to his Mexican friend, a burrito was basically a wrapped beef salad. It sounded like heaven in food form. Little Wang was searching the grocery for tortillas but there were none, so he got water and flour to make it himself and got some stuff to put inside his homemade tortillas.

When he got home he made his tortillas but they were only a quarter of the size of a real tortilla. He put some of his mystery items in it. He was a little confused on how to wrap it so he just folded it up. He then boiled it in a pot and that pot gave birth to the world’s first mandu. He took a bite and it was delicious. Even though it was great, he was not satisfied. He then fried it because in America anything fried was considered good, and he liked American food so he thought it would be good. What came out was more wonderful than stuffed crust pizza. He took a bite into it and… IT WAS SCRUMPTIOUS!!!! It actually was heaven in the form of food.

He then went down to the streets and sold lots of mandu and he became a QUADRILLIONAIRE! No longer would he live like a poor kid but now like Bill Gates multiplied by two.

But the irony of this was that even though he despised Korean food Little Wang ended up making one of the most famous Korean foods in the world.